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Friday, June 13, 2014

"how a female dresses is her advertisement."

i keep seeing this quote, and variations of it, shared on social media recently:

"how a female dresses is her advertisement. if a female shows half of her body, she's asking to be disrespected. if she dresses classy, expect to be treated like a lady. how you're addressed lies on your attire. sexy is a spirit, not an outfit."

OR YOU COULD JUST HOLD YOURSELF ACCOUNTABLE FOR YOUR OWN ACTIONS AND TREAT ALL WOMEN WITH RESPECT REGARDLESS OF WHAT WE DECIDE TO PUT ON OUR BODIES AND STOP PROJECTING YOUR POLITICS OF MODESTY AND RESPECTABILITY ONTO WOMEN BECAUSE, CONTRARY TO POPULAR BELIEF, A WOMAN'S STYLE OF DRESS HAS NO DIRECT BEARING ON HER CHARACTER OR HER WORTH AS A PERSON AND IS NEVER A JUSTIFICATION FOR YOU TREATING HER DISRESPECTFULLY.

thanks.

Wednesday, June 4, 2014

body terrorism: fat vs. thin

i feel like i have almost certainly talked about this before at some point in life in a different space, but i feel the need to revisit this subject again. let me preface this rant by emphasizing the fact that i love and support all women, of all shapes and all sizes, and i absolutely support the celebration of our bodies; especially because, historically,  women's bodies have been policed, dissected, subjugated, and treated as property, among other things. this is true of other marginalized bodies as well, but women will be the focus of this particular discussion. 

as humans, we tend to organize things into binaries; good and evil, men and women, black and white, and so on. among these is the binary of fat and thin. of course a spectrum of various body types exists between these two categories, but we tend to use one of these two as identifying factors for our bodies and the bodies of others. the fact that we sometimes ignore the possibility of variant body types and sizes is problematic in itself, but what compounds the problem is the added fact that social attitudes encourage us to pit two polarizing categories against one another. thus, it becomes good vs. evil, men vs. women, black vs. white, and so on. in the case of fat vs. thin, it is undoubtedly a war that is being waged disproportionately on women's bodies. 

as i've said, i support the celebration of our bodies, but i have to also say that the celebration of fat bodies is personal for me, as i identify as fat. by the way, don't offer me any patronizing reassurances like "you're not fat. you're beautiful" or any variations there of. you may think that this is a compliment and you may even have good intentions, but when you say things like this, what you're really saying is that i can't be fat and also be beautiful. you're saying that fatness negates beauty and vice versa: if a person is beautiful, they can't possibly be fat, and if a person is fat, they can't possibly be beautiful. you're reinforcing a fatphobic, thin-centric (and arguably white/Euro-centric) standard of beauty which denies the very basic idea that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes, and all of these different forms of beauty should be acknowledged and celebrated. don't be that person. 

i see the celebration of fat bodies as vastly different than the celebration of thin bodies (or the bodies in between) because of the way that fat women are often shamed. those who are (both consciously and unconsciously) fatphobic, or fat antagonistic, tell us that we're unattractive, unfeminine, desperate, gluttonous, lazy, and unworthy of love. surely, you've heard (and/or told) many a joke about fat people and accepted (and/or perpetuated) stereotypes about us as truth. you all know how badly fat bodies get treated, whether you exist in a fat body or you have witnessed and/or participated in this treatment. people tend to say really rude, unnecessary, and assumptive things about fat people. 


#WRONG

this is why i am personally invested in fat women openly and publicly loving their bodies and declaring their self-worth in the faces of those who would rather fat women stay silent and ashamed. i love it when a woman, whether she identifies as fat, plus-sized, BBW, full-figured, or otherwise, celebrates her body, screaming it at the top of her lungs , typing it in all caps, or flaunting it on instagram. i celebrate with her, but i take issue when fat women denigrate thin women in order to assert their value and express their self-love.

i can certainly understand the desire to combat the class which has been culturally accepted as the norm and which has sometimes participated in the oppression and othering of your class. it happens within all oppressive institutions; some blacks become anti-white and some women become anti-men. it happens even within marginalized groups, like some blacks becoming anti-light skin (i must confess, that i was guilty of this particular transgression once upon a time). it's normal to take all of the anger that you feel as a marginalized member of society and direct it at those who are more privileged, but it's unproductive. so, when fat women celebrate their bodies by denigrating the bodies of thin women, they are being unproductive by simply contributing to a culture where it is acceptable to spread hate among those who are different.

here's an example of what i'm talking about.


i'm sure that whoever made this was just trying to make "thick girls" everywhere feel great about their bodies, and that's all good. however, it comes at the expense of thin women, and there in lies the problem. there are so many things wrong with thinking of women's bodies in this way. thin women are not "bones" to be chewed on by dogs and fat women are not "meat" to be consumed by men. women's bodies are not for men or anyone else (also, sex is not something that men do to women, and i say this because i read this image as a metaphor for sex). 

so, here's a novel idea: let's try celebrating our bodies without demonizing the bodies which are different from ours. loving your own body does not necessitate hating a body that is different from yours, even if that body type is accepted as the "norm". we do not have to devalue someone else in order to provide evidence for our own value because WE ARE ALL VALUABLE. 

there is a stark difference between the celebration that is happening in these images...



...and the devaluing of thin bodies that is happening in these.



it doesn't matter what your body type is. give yourself permission to celebrate it.