"black girl booty": supply and demand

here, you'll find an open letter penned to Nicki Minaj by Chuck Creekmur, owner of AllHipHop.com. in the letter, he expresses his concern for the influence that Nicki's "Anaconda" album art might have on his daughter. He dictates his fatherly concerns by calling Nicki's image "ratchet sh*t" and saying that he wasn't "shocked" by her album art, but, rather, "disappointed" in the image of her "booty in a thong."

he then goes on to say: "As a man, I can appreciate the virtues of your perfect posterior. The dad guy is not a happy camper, particularly now that his lil' girl is transitioning into a young lady. . . I'm trying to raise a young girl that will eventually grow into someone greater than the both of us. I know that this requires great parenting, great education, great luck and an assortment of great influences . . . As she gets older, it will be harder for me to limit her exposure to you, especially if you continue to do headline-grabbing moves like the 'Anaconda' cover. I don't want to EVER see her posted up one day emulating you . . . Believe it or not, I care. I think you are dope. You've bodied some of my favorite artists on songs like "Monster." Yet the possibility of you transcending this gnaws at me, because I know you don't have to succumb to bottom feeding . . . I [removed a previous photo from the website as requested] based on what I think is a glimpse of what you really desire, which is to be a more positive role model of some sort for young girls who are under siege out in these streets. Now, you take this squatting position on the cover of a song called “Anaconda,” which I am sure the radio will play until its played out. I’ll be on Spotify though and so will my daughter when she’s with me . . . P.S. You think you could follow me on Twitter again?"

well, this is my response to him. though, i doubt he'll ever read it:

dear Mr. Creekmur,

let's get right to it. you're obviously concerned with the impact that Nicki's image will have on your daughter, but you don't seem very concerned with the general sexism, misogyny, colorism, classism, homophobia, transphobia, etc. that is present in the rap/hip-hop genre and what impact they might have on your daughter. i wonder if you've ever written any letters to some of your "favorite artists" that accompany Nicki on the "Monster" track that you seem to admire. where is your letter to Rick Ross condemning his description of/chuckling at date rape in "U.O.E.N.O."? what about your letters confronting some of your "favorites" in the music industry for their insistence on referring to women as bitches and hoes? how about writing some letters about the violent ways that sex gets talked about, i.e. "beat the pussy up" and "tear your ass in two"? have you written any open letters to Lil Wayne about his glorification of "long haired thick redbone[s]" and his apparent disdain for darker skinned black women, or the way that he and many others seem to desire women with a "black girl booty", but whose bodies otherwise align with white/Euro-centric standards of beauty (naturally or artificially)? yes, girls and women are indeed "under siege" out here. how do you think all of these things will affect your daughter, her self-image, her relationship with her body, her vision of/experience with men, her perspective on sex and relationships later in life? 

if you're wondering why Nicki Minaj poses for photos like this...

or why Rihanna and Beyonce' and others do this...

allow me to enlighten you. it's because the industry asks for it. demands it. it's because women who capitalize on their sexuality usually rise to fame quickly and gain visibility, while women who do not often fade into obscurity despite their talent. this isn't to say that these women don't have agency in choosing these poses. Beyonce’ has created a brand and a business, reaching a level of creative control and economic power that few women have, but it is difficult to ignore that she is in fact “playing the game”, often using her body and her sexuality as a selling point in an industry that is dominated by men. She has just as much selling power with men who fantasize about her as she does with women who adore her. Beyonce’ is undoubtedly one of the best entertainers of our time. She has undeniable musical talent which speaks for itself. She could, in fact, forego the overt sexual nature of her performances and music videos. She could abandon the leotards and high heels and long, flowing blond tresses (her natural light skin and European-like features are certainly something else to be discussed) and she would still be recognized as talented, but in an industry that so highly values sexual appeal, it is unlikely that she would have reached the level of stardom at which she now stands if she had not marketed herself as a sexy goddess. The wonderful thing about feminism is that it grants women (and everyone else) the opportunity to make these kinds of choices. She chooses to use her sex appeal, and that is her right, as it is the right of Nicki Minaj, Rihanna, and all other women.

i'm sure you've noticed that the most popular (and least popular) rappers and hip-hop artists write songs that glorify "the booty". Big Sean blew us away with the artfully crafted "Dance (A$$)" with ingenious lyrics like "i'm wondering if cupid gave you ass shots/ 'cause i'm in love with that ass" and "shake that ass, shake that ass, shake that ass/ shake that ass, shake that ass, shake that ass." 

Jason Derulo let us know how he feels about the booty with his unforgettable masterpiece, "Wiggle", in a collaboration with Snoop (Dogg? Lion?). "i got one question/how do you fit all that into them jeans?/you know what to do with that big fat butt/wiggle, wiggle, wiggle/ wiggle, wiggle, wiggle." 

i know you remember Bubba Sparxxx's "Miss New Booty", in which he and the Ying Yang Twins delivered the timeless refrain, "booty, booty, booty, booty rockin' everywhere/booty, booty, booty, booty rockin' everywhere/booty, booty, booty, booty rockin' everywhere."

back in '89, LL Cool J cited the booty as the reason for his infidelity in "Big Ole' Butt": "Brenda got a big ole butt/i know i told you i'd be true/ but Brenda got a big ole butt/so i'm leaving you." 

but rap and hip-hop artists aren't the only ones:

Spinal Tap "Big Bottom" (1984)

Trace Adkins "Honky Tonk Badonkadonk" (2005)

Queen "Fat Bottomed Girls" (1978)

KC & the Sunshine Band "(Shake, Shake, Shake) Shake Your Booty" (1976)

Every country song about a booty in "painted on jeans" (since forever)

our culture is obsessed with the booty. we love the booty. it's why nearly every woman on an action movie poster is in that awkward half-turn pose. it's why booty pictures are flooding Instagram every day. it's why all the fitspo Tumblrs preach squat, squat, squat to get a nice, round bottom. it's why Moguldom Studios is releasing the (much needed) docutainment film Bottoms Up investigating our preoccupation with the booty and the lengths to which women will go in order to obtain the coveted apple bottom. 

so, when Nicki Minaj strikes a pose that accentuates and celebrates her "big ole booty", she is supplying what society has demanded from her, but she is also exercising her agency and taking ownership of her body. if you feel that it's necessary to write letters to public figures about the impact that they might have on their (young) audience, then by all means, do that. however, you should also consider a letter writing campaign critiquing the culture that fosters the behavior that you find so distasteful. otherwise, you just come off looking like one more person in a long line of people trying to police (black) women's booties with their sexist/misogynistic/racialized ideas about sexual expression and the politics of respectability, and based on what you "think [they] really desire" to be. 

P.S. feel free to follow me on twitter, i guess.

the struggle: if you're nappy and you know it

this is my natural hair. 

i have some S curls and some waves, but mostly coils. if i were to classify it within the hair-typing system (see below), i would call it 4a. 

i'm often self conscious about my hair. don't misunderstand me. i love my hair. how i feel about it is not the issue; it's how other people feel about it, talk about it, and react to it. it's not that i care what other people think about me. the thing is that other people's reactions say a lot about how we as a society think about black hair. over the past few years, i've mentally cataloged the different types of reactions that i've encountered, from people of all races, ages, and genders.  

disbelief, accusations, and insults

"you got that good hair." this backhanded compliment is offensive, and not just because of the atrocious grammar. to tell me that my hair is "good" because my curls are loose and defined is to say that other black hair is "bad" and should be fixed. ALL HAIR IS GOOD HAIR.

"ooohh, your hair is so thick and curly! what are your mixed with? you must be mixed with something." or "is that a weave? . . . oh, it's not? . . . stop lying!" to insist that the beauty of my hair must be an attribute of any other non-black race or an artificial accessory is to insist that the beauty of blackness and natural black hair is impossible.

"you're cute for a natural girl." this is another backhanded compliment that is brimming with assumptions about black women and natural black hair. this is the same as telling a woman that she is "pretty for a dark skinned girl" or "cute for a big girl". what you're saying is that dark skin, fat bodies, and natural black hair are inherently unattractive and undesirable, and that it is abnormal for you to find someone attractive with these traits. stop telling black women that they are beautiful in spite of these common traits; traits that many people take pride in as defining features of their blackness.

"so, you hate women with permed hair?" no, i don't hate women who relax their hair. nor do i assume that they hate themselves. chemical straightening is a personal choice. it is not my place to judge what women do with their bodies. nor is it yours.

solidarity, curiosity, and comparisons

"yes, honey, black power!" my natural hair is not inherently a political statement. it is simply my hair. to wear it free and untamed is not radical to me, but i understand that it will be viewed as consciously defying societal standards of accepted forms of beauty, "appropriate" forms of appearance, and the politics of respectability and professionalism. that's fine with me. there are moments when i feel especially progressive and transformative, but mostly, i'm just trying to make it through the day with my afro in tact. there is a stereotype that black women with natural hair are more aggressive, more militant, and more masculine (the discussion about racialized masculinity and femininity is for another day) than our counterparts. it's important to remember that fulfilling certain stereotypes does not automatically make you a bad representative of that group. if you want to operationalize your natural hair as a tool to combat traditional beauty standards, then by all means, be militant, and don't let anyone make you feel bad about it. i support you and your (c)overt activism.

"how does it do that? can i touch it?" *reaches for my hair without waiting for an answer* i understand and welcome curiosity. i think it's healthy. ask me all the questions you want. i'll gladly (attempt to) answer them, but - and i can't believe that i keep having to say this - DO NOT TOUCH MY HAIR. it is an invasion of personal space and autonomy when people touch a part of your body without permission. it's dismissive and rude and some consider it to be a form of violence. just don't.

"how do you get your hair to curl like that? i want mine to look like yours." sure, you can come to me with questions if you want advice, but don't expect me to have all the answers and don't expect your hair to behave exactly like mine or that natural hair vlogger on YouTube and Instagram. trust me, we can't get our hair to behave the same way everyday anyway. EVERYONE'S HAIR IS DIFFERENT. that is perhaps the most important lesson that you will learn if you're transitioning or maintaining natural hair. the sooner you learn this lesson, the better your experience will be. have realistic expectations for your hair. and do not think for one second that your kinks, coils, or curls are any less amazing than mine or any one else's, regardless of how tight they are or how much they shrink. don't just learn about natural hair. get to know and love your hair. 

fetishizing, reassurances/assumptions, and desexualizing

"i love natural black women. that sh*t turns me on." or "natural girls f*ck better." oh, you love natural black women? that's cool. i thank you for your compliment, sir or madam, but stop talking about me like they talk about light skinned, big booty women in rap/hip-hop songs. stop fetishizing me. do not make assumptions about me and my sexual abilities/expression based on my appearance. do better. 

"don't let white society tell you that your hair is unattractive. i think your afro is beautiful and sexy. can i have your number?" again, thanks for the compliment, but you should not make assumptions about my self-confidence based on what you think you know about race relations, power dynamics, and body politics and how they relate to me and my afro. and you most certainly should not use my assumed low self-confidence as a social lubricant to pursue a relationship(?) with me. i don't need your reassurances. you are not as slick as you think you are. 

"i'm not attracted to girls with natural hair. i like long hair that i can run my fingers through." this is a special class of black men who go out of their way to tell me that they aren't attracted to me. um, ok then. leave me alone and go talk to someone you are attracted to. more importantly, stop trying to impose your white standards of beauty onto my black body. oh, and just for your information, natural hair can be long, natural hair can be straightened, and we actually do run our fingers through our hair. it's called detangling.

these are just a few of the things that i encounter just trying to exist in the world with natural hair. so, again, i love my hair, but constantly having to maneuver the questions, assumptions, and insults is exhausting and often makes me self-conscious. do not be one of these people. if you have questions, ask them nicely. if you don't like my hair or you aren't attracted to me because of it, keep it to yourself. you know, just be a decent and considerate person. please and thank you.

"how a female dresses is her advertisement."

i keep seeing this quote, and variations of it, shared on social media recently:

"how a female dresses is her advertisement. if a female shows half of her body, she's asking to be disrespected. if she dresses classy, expect to be treated like a lady. how you're addressed lies on your attire. sexy is a spirit, not an outfit."

OR YOU COULD JUST HOLD YOURSELF ACCOUNTABLE FOR YOUR OWN ACTIONS AND TREAT ALL WOMEN WITH RESPECT REGARDLESS OF WHAT WE DECIDE TO PUT ON OUR BODIES AND STOP PROJECTING YOUR POLITICS OF MODESTY AND RESPECTABILITY ONTO WOMEN BECAUSE, CONTRARY TO POPULAR BELIEF, A WOMAN'S STYLE OF DRESS HAS NO DIRECT BEARING ON HER CHARACTER OR HER WORTH AS A PERSON AND IS NEVER A JUSTIFICATION FOR YOU TREATING HER DISRESPECTFULLY.

thanks.

body terrorism: fat vs. thin

i feel like i have almost certainly talked about this before at some point in life in a different space, but i feel the need to revisit this subject again. let me preface this rant by emphasizing the fact that i love and support all women, of all shapes and all sizes, and i absolutely support the celebration of our bodies; especially because, historically,  women's bodies have been policed, dissected, subjugated, and treated as property, among other things. this is true of other marginalized bodies as well, but women will be the focus of this particular discussion. 

as humans, we tend to organize things into binaries; good and evil, men and women, black and white, and so on. among these is the binary of fat and thin. of course a spectrum of various body types exists between these two categories, but we tend to use one of these two as identifying factors for our bodies and the bodies of others. the fact that we sometimes ignore the possibility of variant body types and sizes is problematic in itself, but what compounds the problem is the added fact that social attitudes encourage us to pit two polarizing categories against one another. thus, it becomes good vs. evil, men vs. women, black vs. white, and so on. in the case of fat vs. thin, it is undoubtedly a war that is being waged disproportionately on women's bodies. 

as i've said, i support the celebration of our bodies, but i have to also say that the celebration of fat bodies is personal for me, as i identify as fat. by the way, don't offer me any patronizing reassurances like "you're not fat. you're beautiful" or any variations there of. you may think that this is a compliment and you may even have good intentions, but when you say things like this, what you're really saying is that i can't be fat and also be beautiful. you're saying that fatness negates beauty and vice versa: if a person is beautiful, they can't possibly be fat, and if a person is fat, they can't possibly be beautiful. you're reinforcing a fatphobic, thin-centric (and arguably white/Euro-centric) standard of beauty which denies the very basic idea that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes, and all of these different forms of beauty should be acknowledged and celebrated. don't be that person. 

i see the celebration of fat bodies as vastly different than the celebration of thin bodies (or the bodies in between) because of the way that fat women are often shamed. those who are (both consciously and unconsciously) fatphobic, or fat antagonistic, tell us that we're unattractive, unfeminine, desperate, gluttonous, lazy, and unworthy of love. surely, you've heard (and/or told) many a joke about fat people and accepted (and/or perpetuated) stereotypes about us as truth. you all know how badly fat bodies get treated, whether you exist in a fat body or you have witnessed and/or participated in this treatment. people tend to say really rude, unnecessary, and assumptive things about fat people. 

#WRONG

this is why i am personally invested in fat women openly and publicly loving their bodies and declaring their self-worth in the faces of those who would rather fat women stay silent and ashamed. i love it when a woman, whether she identifies as fat, plus-sized, BBW, full-figured, or otherwise, celebrates her body, screaming it at the top of her lungs , typing it in all caps, or flaunting it on instagram. i celebrate with her, but i take issue when fat women denigrate thin women in order to assert their value and express their self-love.

i can certainly understand the desire to combat the class which has been culturally accepted as the norm and which has sometimes participated in the oppression and othering of your class. it happens within all oppressive institutions; some blacks become anti-white and some women become anti-men. it happens even within marginalized groups, like some blacks becoming anti-light skin (i must confess, that i was guilty of this particular transgression once upon a time). it's normal to take all of the anger that you feel as a marginalized member of society and direct it at those who are more privileged, but it's unproductive. so, when fat women celebrate their bodies by denigrating the bodies of thin women, they are being unproductive by simply contributing to a culture where it is acceptable to spread hate among those who are different.

here's an example of what i'm talking about.

i'm sure that whoever made this was just trying to make "thick girls" everywhere feel great about their bodies, and that's all good. however, it comes at the expense of thin women, and there in lies the problem. there are so many things wrong with thinking of women's bodies in this way. thin women are not "bones" to be chewed on by dogs and fat women are not "meat" to be consumed by men. women's bodies are not for men or anyone else (also, sex is not something that men do to women, and i say this because i read this image as a metaphor for sex). 

so, here's a novel idea: let's try celebrating our bodies without demonizing the bodies which are different from ours. loving your own body does not necessitate hating a body that is different from yours, even if that body type is accepted as the "norm". we do not have to devalue someone else in order to provide evidence for our own value because WE ARE ALL VALUABLE. 

there is a stark difference between the celebration that is happening in these images...

...and the devaluing of thin bodies that is happening in these.

it doesn't matter what your body type is. give yourself permission to celebrate it. 

confession: i was sexually assaulted

sexual assault: sexual contact with another person without their consent. forcible, coercive, or otherwise.

i was sexually assaulted repeatedly throughout my middle school and high school years, but it wasn't until adulthood that i was able to identify and accept it as sexual assault. against my will and without my consent, various male students grabbed and slapped my butt, groped my breasts, pulled my bra strap, aggressively commented on my body, inquired about my sexual practices, and blatantly called me a liar when i answered that i was a virgin. i was harassed, objectified, slut shamed, bullied, and ultimately dehumanized. i thought it was normal and i thought that it was my fault. i thought that the body in which i existed warranted that kind of treatment from boys. i was told to take it as a compliment because it meant that they liked me and, you know, boys will be boys.

the first of these incidents is still vivid in my mind. it was during recess in the fourth grade and i was playing on the jungle gym. it was one of my favorite things to do on the playground as i was an avid climber as a child. i loved viewing the world from atop trees and jungle gyms where i felt closer to the stars. on that afternoon, i mounted the jungle gym with the usual excitement in pursuit of that familiar rush. as i pulled myself upward, i felt a hand on my butt, squeezing tightly. in shock and confusion, i lost my footing then tumbled off and onto the ground. when i rose to my feet, i was seething with anger. i felt violated and i demanded to know who had done it. the bystanders pointed to the culprit who seemed unmoved by the scene unfolding before him. without waiting for his confession of guilt (i tended to shoot first and ask questions later as a girl), i lunged at him with the full force of my rage-filled body, kicking and punching. he fought back, slapping me on the side of my face until my ear was burning and i began to feel light headed. after the fight, i gave the teacher an accurate account of why the altercation began, but the boy denied it. i argued my case vehemently, but ultimately, there was no punishment given. we missed out on the rest of recess that day, but he was not appropriately disciplined for his actions. apparently, a boy grabbing a girl's butt on the playground was not an offense that warranted attention because it was just something that boys did to girls. this was all a part of my (mis)education. in that moment, i learned that sexual violence was something that boys do to girls. sexual violence became normalized. boys do it to girls, and by extent, men do it to women. 

as girls, we learn that our bodies do not belong to us, and it is a lesson that we continue to learn as we grow into women. the wide acceptance and normalization of this kind sexual assault contributes to the pervasiveness of rape culture. it took me years to unlearn all of those lessons and i am still unlearning some of them. my body does belong to me and no one has the right to touch, grab, squeeze, caress, or embrace my body without my consent. women's bodies do not exist for the pleasure of men and deserve the ability to move throughout this world free from violation. women's bodies deserve the same respect and autonomy that is afforded to men's bodies. women's bodies are not things to be hidden or ashamed of. women's bodies are not public spaces. women's bodies are wonderful. our bodies belong to us. this is not an indictment of all boys and men. this is an indictment of the misogynistic ideals by which some boys and men (and women) justify their sexualized violence against girls and women, and this is a position which i will continue to defend vehemently, unyieldingly, and unapologetically for as long as i continue draw breath.